Monday, 23 August 2010

Dear God, Please Kill Them All

Welcome to the twentieth installment of the EVE Blog Banter, the monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux. The EVE Blog Banter involves an enthusiastic group of gaming bloggers, a common topic within the realm of EVE Online, and a week to post articles pertaining to the said topic. The resulting articles can either be short or quite extensive, either funny or dead serious, but are always a great fun to read! Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed to Check out other EVE Blog Banter articles at the bottom of this post!

With the recent completion of the 3rd installment of the Hulkageddon last month, @CyberinEVE, author of Hands Off, My Loots!, asks: "Griefing is a very big part of EVE. Ninja Salvaging, Suicide Ganking, Trolling, and Scamming are all a very large part of the game. What do you think about all these things? You can talk about one, or all...but just let us know your overall opinion on Griefing, and any recommendations you may have to change it if you think it's needed."

Dear God,

My name is Sar and I am 9-years-old and I live in Zulup-Ark Square, Tanisa, Zorast. I am a proud Amarrian.

I'm sad and angry and I don't understand your ways. My mother says I should write to you for the answers she can't give.

Father Samet at our church said that there are many gods in the heavens, but you are the only true god and the most powerful.

If that is true, why can't my brother come home any more? He worked on a starship that was destroyed. Mother says it's because some other gods wanted to kill him for the stuff that his god left behind. But my brother was always good and only ever did nice things for us. He once brought me a bit of asteroid that was shiny.

Father Samet says that some gods call themselves ninjas, which means they are sneaky and cunning. But what they do hurts people and they enjoy that. That makes me angry and I think it is wrong.

We learn in your church that it is wrong to steal, but that is what these ninjas do. They only steal things from other gods, but they steal lives from normal people. Father Samet says I shouldn't cry because that is what they want. But why do you make some people so hateful, God?

One day I will learn to fly through the stars and I will hurt them back, then they will be sorry. Will you help me teach them a lesson?

Please kill them all.

Yours Faithfully



Dear Sar

As your diety I don't usually do this sort of thing, so apologies if my correspondence seems inappropriate.

Firstly, I'm sorry about your brother but it was his time. I cannot really explain my reasoning as that would contravene some fundamental laws and give you a nasty inflammation of your immortal soul.

Please don't confuse these charlatan gods for genuinely omnipotent beings. They are flesh and blood just like you, they've just picked up a few cheap tricks to gain advantage over their fellow mortals.

But between you and me, all this cloning is really messing with their souls. Their fancy mind-transfer technology totally fails on that front, so guess who's got to move it all manually? I'm forever gathering up soul particles and stuffing them back in the vessels. It's like herding heretics. Sometimes I outsource to some of the out-of-belief pantheons and there've been a few comical fumbles there, I can tell you.

Anyway, I ramble. My point is, don't be too hard on these fake-god pod pilots, you ever photocopied a photocopy? They end up having bits missing. Whilst your brother's immortal soul is happily cavorting with angels in the Afterlife, the capsuleers are rapidly running out of currency with which to check in.

And these so-called ninja-looters are the parasitic scavengers of the capsuleers. The lowest of them all. They are the bottom-feeders of New Eden and I have a special place reserved for them.

But I invented parasites and scavengers and bottom-feeders, and I'm actually quite fond of them. Any ecologist will tell you they are a vital to an ecosystem. Plus, some of their blogs are really quite funny. The ninja-looters that is, not the ecologists. Ecologists rarely have a sense of humour, an oversight on my part I'm afraid.

Lots of love,


Other Blog Banters:
Fiddler's Edge - Pirates and Griefers
A Merry Life and A Short One - Logical Fallacy
Diary of A Pod Pilot - Griefing, Not just for the Tears
Venom's Bite - A Very Simple Proposal
Where The Frack Is My Ship - Think Like a Capsuleer
Mike Azariah - Blaming the Victim
more to come...

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Free Cadmium Moon

Hurry, hurry, hurry, get your free Cadmium moon. While stocks last.

Wildly Inappropriate have attacked our POS, the Free Boot, and put it into reinforced. As we Freebooters are having a period of relative inactivity, they're probably doing us a favour, so I've declined their 350m isk ransom and told them they're welcome to the moon. The fact that we're an allianceless 4-man corp without the means to defend the POS is also a factor.

However, it would amuse me greatly if an opportunistic alliance or some crafty pirates could ninja the spoils out from under their noses. Screenshots of any harassment for a future blogpost would be most welcome.

The POS is in the Derelik region, at Assah IV, moon 1. It comes out of reinforced in less than 3 hours, at 0300 EVEtime.

Go grab yourselves a lucrative cadmium moon and immortalise yourselves at the Battle of the Free Boot.

0730hrs Update:

Sadly, it seems my machievellian attempts to create a bloodbath at the Free Boot totally failed and Wildly Inappropriate got the job done in short order. I finally found time to log in several hours after the event and, whilst I was investigating the site, a nice chap from WI called firerock popped into the Old Pond Pub channel. After a surprisingly pleasant chat he provided me with a link to their killboards.

As of the time of this update, there is currently nothing at that moon so there's still a juicy cadmium moon going begging. However, firerock did give me the impression that WI might be moving into the area, but they might just want us to think that - I'm not sure you can trust an organisation that blows up your POSs and shares it's initials with the Women's Institute.

Sunday, 8 August 2010

Peaks and Troughs

Time has been called on the Chronofile and Rettic has left EVE. This makes me sad. For many reasons.

With his departure, the EVE community loses one of it's great contributors. His blog, Rettic's Log: The Chronofile, was always a great source of insight and information as well as home to some incredibly high-quality EVE fiction (my favourite piece was 'Passage', but it's all excellent, please take the time to read it).

However, the Chronofile is just the tip of the iceberg. Rettic's 'Sounds for Flying' mixes are a superbly crafted series that I have found a refreshing and immersive addition to my EVE jukebox. His web design work on the EVE Metrics site is very slick and is very useful tool I was unaware of until Rettic's involvement and subsequent blog post. He was also a founding member of the recently formed independent pilot initiative, the Copernicus Coalition, an organisation that will surely feel his loss acutely. Many members of the blogpack have enjoyed forum signatures and banners made by his hand. I am sure there are many other things Rettic had a hand in of which I am completely unaware.

Although I did not get the opportunity to speak with him much in game, I owe him a debt a gratitude. He was the first fellow blogger to link to this blog, giving me the oxygen of readership. I also believe it was his sponsorship that brought about my inclusion into the Blog Pack when Crazy Kinux was looking to expand from the original twenty members.

In his final blogpost, 'You Can't Take the Sky From Me', Rettic writes with a sentiment with which I very much identify. I too have been finding EVE a burden of late, feeling obligated to log in to feed the POS, endlessly click my way through planetary interaction nodes and update the skill queue. This is not a particular criticism of the game, after all we choose our own gameplay and level of involvement. I have been the architect of my own apathy.

I believe I am suffering from a gaming malady very specific to EVE and one with which I have been afflicted before - a kind of EVE fatigue. In my case I have a tendency to play obsessively until I reach saturation point, then just stop (once for about four years). I am also aware that other players have been also been notably less active recently, my fellow Freebooters chief amongst them. That is bound to have an impact on my involvement, especially as we are currently not in an alliance, perhaps a mistake.

Other than Rettic, I have noticed other fellow Copernicus Coalition members have been exhibiting signs of this same unrest, interesting however is how each has dealt with it differently. Whereas Rettic has gracefully retired, I tore out my bathroom, Casiella Truza has eschewed all 'worklike' gameplay and turned to the dark side and Mark726 has been playing Mass Effect [correction: on re-reading my Twitter feed it may have been Mandrill who has been playing Mass Effect. Apologies for inaccuracy].

I know that the 'burn-out' is all just a natural part of capsuleering and I've just got to consider a coping strategy for my current fugue. The odd thing is, although the thought of logging in to EVE isn't that appealing to me at the moment, I still enjoy reading and writing about it, so I'm unlikely to depart with a Rettic-like grace and as I've run out of steam on the bathroom, a revision in playstyle is probably in order, along with some more frequent posts.

No doubt things will come together in time, EVE is still a seductive mistress despite her current health problems. I know this is all part of the natural ebb and flow of the tides on the shores of the sandbox. Onward I suppose.

Farewell Rettic, I'm sorry to see you go and thank you for the inspiration.